


Augury: The Swan Song

by binkchester



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Daichi is so oblivious sometimes, Friends to Lovers, High School, Kinda, M/M, Slow Burn, Suga is literally TOO good, canon-divergent, dear god who left me in charge of tagging?, more like canon...complementary?, more like slow (CRASH AND) burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-02 20:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8682715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/binkchester/pseuds/binkchester
Summary: "Sugawara Koushi was always one step ahead."





	1. When We Were Young

**Author's Note:**

> Augury: the ancient art of predicting the future by observing the flight patterns of birds such as ravens, swans, or crows.
> 
> Sooooo in case you couldn't tell from the hot mess that was my summary/attempt at tagging, this is my very first fic. Ever. I've been a long-time reader/stalker, but I've never been brave enough to try my hand at writing until now. Gosh darn it if DaiSuga won't be the actual death of me someday...
> 
> This is the first chapter, but it can kinda be read like a one-shot.

Sugawara Koushi was always one step ahead. At least it seemed that way to Daichi. It was Suga who had walked over and introduced himself to Daichi their first day of school while Daichi had been sitting at his desk working up the courage to say hello to the friendly-looking boy with silver hair who sat across the classroom. It was Suga who had pulled two completed application forms for volleyball club out of his backpack as soon as Daichi asked him if maybe he'd be interested in joining together. It was Suga who first ran over to introduce himself and Daichi to the giant boy clutching a crumpled application named Azumane Asahi. It was Suga who had already brought his own volleyball from home the day Daichi suggested they practice together outside of normal club hours. No matter what the situation, Suga always knew exactly what to do--at least when it came to Daichi.

Suga had a gift for reading people, typical of a setter, and with Daichi it was especially strong. Within only a few days of knowing him, Suga had developed the kind of sixth sense about the other boy that normally comes after years of friendship. Suga could finish Daichi's sentences without missing a beat, knew exactly when Daichi was putting on a brave face, even predicted his orders at the convenience store. "It's because you're such an open book," Suga teased him. "You're an honest person and you don't really over complicate anything, so you're an easy read."

On some level Dachi knew most people would find that at the very least unusual, but he always enjoyed the kind of effortless dynamic he had with Suga. Almost at once he found himself at ease around the ash blond boy. The fact that Suga could read his every thought didn't really worry him because Suga wasn't the kind of person who would take advantage of that, and Daichi enjoyed never having to worry about explaining himself. He'd never been good at that anyway. It wasn't that Daichi was bad with words, per se. Nor was he out of touch with his feelings. It was more that Daichi was a person who operated on instinct and principles rather than careful reflection. He usually knew what the right thing to do was simply because he felt compelled to do so. It was hard to articulate that kind of mindset, so he had always been grateful to Suga for never needing to ask. Daichi was perfectly fine with focusing on the present moment and leaving the master plans and strategies to Suga, even though sometimes he found himself caught in the middle of one without knowing.

On Friday of their second week as members of the volleyball club, the captain interrupted their warm up to announce that it was time for the annual practice match among first years. Daichi had heard of this before--apparently coach Ukai had started the tradition years ago. After two weeks of conditioning, the first years divided into two teams and played a match against each other while the upperclassmen watched. Supposedly, it was a chance for the coaches and upperclassmen to observe their technique more closely and take note of any areas that needed work, but Daichi suspected it was also a test to see how the new members performed in a match-like setting. Only first years with solid skills who could handle the pressure on the court would be allowed to play as a starter, so this was a big opportunity for the three of them.

"Seeing as there are only three of you this year, we'll have to do a two on two match and Kurokawa will pair up with one of you," their captain, Tashiro explained. Daichi glanced over at Kurokawa, who nodded to their captain Tashiro and jogged over to stand among the first years. Daichi wondered if the first years would be allowed to choose teams themselves or if the pairings would be decided for them. Obviously if he had the choice he's want to be paired with--

"I choose Asahi!" Suga yelled out, hitching up on his tip toes to throw an arm around the tall spiker's shoulder. Asahi recoiled slightly at the sudden contact and his face grew bright red. Even Daichi was a bit surprised. It wasn't like Suga to make decisions so freely and shout out without invitation. He must have been really intent on working with Asahi. Daichi felt a tiny pang of...something in his gut as he watched Suga scurry under the net to the other side of the court. Was it jealousy? Maybe. Why wouldn't Suga want to be on a team together? There was no doubt Asahi was amazing and his attack was something to be feared. But Suga and Daichi had spent the last two weeks together practicing in and out of the gym. They had already become used to each other's playing styles and were turning into a strong duo. Why would Suga suddenly switch to Asahi?

"Looks like it's you and me then, Sawamura," Daichi was jolted from his thoughts by a hand slapping his shoulder. Kurokawa would be playing on his side for the match.

Not one to let his emotions get the better of him, Daichi shrugged off the strange feelings and prepared for the match at hand. _Now isn't the time to get caught up in this, Daichi. Focus on the opponents you see, not the ones you've made up in your head..._

Daichi switched his focus entirely to volleyball, clearing all questions and concerns from his mind, taking his place on the court and steeling himself for the match. His side would serve first, so it was up to him now. Holding the ball in his hands, Daichi surrendered all attention to the familiarity of the court, the sound of sneakers squeaking as the athletes got into position, the vibrations of the ball smacking against the floor as he bounced it, the feel of worn leather against his hands as he held it, and flow of the breath coming in and out of his lungs. It was a special match, but the game and the court were the same as always. Daichi concentrated on what he knew, what he was sure of. Just like any other day, any other match. He tossed the ball up in the air and made contact right below the center of the ball with the heel of his palm. Perfect. Daichi was nothing if not consistent. His serves and spikes might not be the most powerful, but they could be counted on even in high-pressure situations, and Daichi was proud of that. His serve came floating between Suga and Asahi, and both players moved to receive, only to notice the other one moving. They both hesitated to allow the other player the receive, neither one able to take command. Daichi watched as the ball landed untouched between them.

"Atta boy, Sawamura!" "Nice ace, buddy!" "One more, one more!" the upperclassmen cheered.

Suga grabbed the ball and rolled it back under the net to Daichi. "Nice serve, Daichi!" he smiled. Daichi returned to his place behind the service line. One more. One more of the same. Daichi tossed the ball and sent it floating over the net, more or less to the same area. This time Asahi and Suga both went for the ball aggressively, bumping into one another. Suga just managed to get a hand on the ball, but sent it flying out of bounds. Another point for Daichi's team.

"Nice, Sawamura!" Kurokawa patted his shoulder.

"Oi! You two forget how to play? Call for the ball if you've got it. Sugawara, you're the setter, so let Asahi have the first contact if he can!" Tashiro called from the sidelines.

"Hai!" Suga called out, moving back into position. Daichi thought of their practices together. Suga never seemed so hesitant with him. He and Asahi hadn't really developed a strong rapport yet, so their playing was still unsure. Daichi couldn't help wondering why Suga would choose a partner he had less experience with. Was it simply for Asahi's power? There was no doubt Asahi's spikes were unrivaled, even among the upperclassmen. Daichi could never hope to match him there, but what he lacked in strength he made up for in dependability. _That's my own unmatched power,_ Daichi thought to himself. _I do what's expected of me._ Every time. Without fail. Surely, that was something to be proud of in its own right, wasn't it?

As if in answer to his own question, Daichi made clean contact with the ball for the third time and sent the ball to the same sweet spot right between the two receivers. This time Asahi called loudly for the ball and Sugawara shuffled away quickly, giving him full claim of the receive. Asahi sent the ball forward, heading towards the middle of the net. Suga quickly got under the ball, ready to toss.

"Left!" Suga called out to Asahi. Daichi's side. Daichi smirked to himself. Sugawara and Asahi hadn't worked out any kind of system for determining which side Suga would send the spike to, so they had to resort to calling the side out loud. Left side. Daichi's side. He'd be ready.

"Hai, left!" Asahi called out as he moved in for the kill. Leaning forward and preparing to dive, Daichi recalled a conversation he had had with Suga earlier in the week at practice.

"That Asahi is so powerful, just look at his spike!" Daichi was marveling at his new teammate while warming up with Suga.

"He's powerful, no doubt about it. But I think he's still learning to control all that power. You ever notice he usually sends his spikes straight forward down the court, especially on the left side? I think he can't aim for the empty pockets yet. Man, but just think how great he'll be once he can do that!"

Daichi bent his knees and prepped himself. Asahi was spiking from the left, so he could be sure the ball was coming straight for him.

Suga's toss was pretty far left, so Asahi had to scramble a bit and adjust his jump to meet the ball in the air. Already anticipating the trajectory of the spike, Daichi had positioned himself directly downline of Asahi. True to Suga's word, Asahi sent the ball straight across the court. The ball landed squarely in Daichi's arms as if Asahi had aimed for them. Daichi received the ball easily, removing the spin and sending it sailing over to his senpai. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw both Suga and Asahi standing in awe. Asahi was probably not used to anyone returning his spikes. Rather than set the ball, Kurokawa-sempai knocked it lightly over the net with one hand, taking advantage of Suga and Daichi's loss of focus. Suga scrambled and got a hand under the ball, but couldn't get it high enough for Asahi to hit it again and another point went to Daichi's team. Daichi smirked to himself, _thanks for the tip, Suga._

The match continued in a similar fashion. Suga favored the left side, which made sense given that Asahi would most likely be playing wing spiker, but his tosses left tended to veer a little far out. Asahi's spikes were powerful, but predictable. Not only that, Daichi suspected he was having some trouble meeting Suga's wayward tosses and in his scrambling he wasn't using his full power. Suga and Asahi both put up a good fight, but Daichi and Kurokawa were steadily gaining points on them, slowly increasing their lead. "That's it, Sawamura. Steady and slow. One point at a time." Daichi was a defender, and as long as he could keep the ball in play, he was sure Kurokawa would do his part in front and rack up points. Before long, the two had gained a substantial lead. They were finally at match point. It was Daichi's turn to serve. Daichi held the ball in his hands, taking a moment to catch his breath and focus. Daichi was exhausted. Racing back and forth to chase Asahi's spikes was no easy task, and being one of only two players meant he was almost constantly moving. He centered himself and focused on his serve. _One point. That's all you need. One point seems so insignificant at the start, but at match point that's all it takes._ Daichi knew exactly what he needed to do, and he knew that he could deliver. He sent the ball in the air and made solid contact, then watched it soar over the net. Asahi handled the serve easily, passing to Suga, who set him up on the right side. Kurokawa met Asahi at the net, but Daichi suspected he wouldn't be able to stop him alone. It was too risky to rush forward and block with him. so Daichi held his center position at the back, ready to spring for the ball. Sure enough, Kurokawa manged to get a hand on the ball, but Asahi's spike still broke through to their side. Diachi was ready for it, and thanks to Kurokawa's touch slowing the ball down a bit, he managed to dive in time to knock it back into play. Quickly propping himself up on his elbows, Daichi watched the ball sail through the air. It was a clean receive, but diving so abruptly meant he hadn't had much control over his power. Daichi watched the ball soar high into the air. All four players followed the ball's trajectory, and soon it was clear it would reach the other side of the net. "Left, Suga!" Asahi called out, his face marked with a very intimidating concentration. He was moving in for a kill. Daichi had to scramble to the other side of the court if he was going to--

Before he knew what was happening, Daichi felt his arm slip out from under him and his face slam against the hard floor of the court. His hand must have slid on some sweat that had dripped from his face while he laid watching his receive. "Shit" Daichi cursed himself for not immediately getting back up earlier. Now his one moment of hesitation could cost him the play. As he scrambled to get his hands back on the ground, the last thing he saw was Suga staring back at him from the other side of the net. Suga's eyes were wide and his mouth had fallen open slightly. "Crap!" Suga knew Daichi was down, and he'd no doubt throw a quick to Asahi on the far side of the court. Daichi frantically threw his arms back under him and hoisted his body off the ground. As he regained his bearings he heard Suga cry out "Sorry, it's high!" Daichi was back on his knees just in time to glance over at Asahi jumping for Suga's spike. He had thrown over to the far side of the court as to be expected, but his toss had been a bit high and Asahi had to wait longer to meet it than he should have. Not only did this kill his momentum, but it bought Daichi one more second. And that was all he needed. With every ounce left of his strength, Daichi pushed hard against the floor and launched himself with full force across the court to the far corner.

At this point he knew, without looking, where the ball was heading. Suga kept throwing to the corner and Asahi could only hit hem straight. The question was only if he could reach that corner in time. Daichi's arms extended out, stretched through to his fingertips. He refused to give up. He had to redeem himself for this one mistake, and Suga's momentary falter on the toss had given him that chance. He glanced over and watched as the ball came barreling down the court, exactly where he had predicted--he was going to make contact. He certainly wouldn't be able to properly receive it with his arms, but he could at least get a hand on it. He had to. Daichi watched as his hand slid toward the shadow beneath the ball just centimeters away from the floor. He came crashing down hard against the court for the second time. He felt the dull thud of his kneepads knocking against the floor, the hard slap of the court floor against his chest, the sharp pain of his chin smashing into the ground...and the soft thud of the volleyball bouncing off of his fingertips.

Daichi's body rebounded from his hard crash into the ground, sending him bouncing off the court, limbs flailing in all directions. He took in the rest of the play in bits and pieces of what his senses allowed him: the sound of gasps from his teammates on the side, the sight of the court completely upside-down as Kurokawa dove for the ball to send it over the net, the feel of a dull ache in his shoulder where he had come down pretty hard, the taste of blood in his mouth (he must have bit his tongue when he landed on his chin), and at last the sound of a volleyball hitting the ground. Daichi slowly hoisted himself back onto his knees and looked up to see his team mates shouting and jumping up and down over on the sidelines. He quickly turned around to face the court and felt a smile spread across his face as he took in the sight of Suga and Asahi sprawled on the ground, the ball rolling on the floor in between them and captain Tashiro rushing towards him, hands extended in congratulations. He had saved it after all, and won the match.

His team erupted in shouts and cheers and the upperclassmen rushed over to greet him with shouts of praise and pats on the back.

"Atta boy, Daichi!" "Solid receiving" "Amazing save, newbie!" "Shibata, you better watch out before this kid takes your spot!"

Daichi thanked his senpais and made his way to his water bottle. As he drank, he reviewed the match in his mind, and his thoughts returned to Suga once again. Really, it had been a particularly good game for Daichi, but Suga seemed to have faltered a lot during that round. If they had played together, surely the two of them could have both performed well. They were already in sync as players, so why on earth did--

"I knew you'd impress them." Suga interrupted from behind, nudging Daichi with his elbow.

"You...knew?" Daichi asked, pausing for a moment. Something about the way Suga grinned as he said that seemed odd to Daichi, though he couldn't really understand why.

"Of course! You just needed the opportunity to show them that awesome receive," Suga's smile was growing wider.

Daichi set down his water and stared back at Suga. He seemed a little too pleased with the match, considering that he had just lost and it hadn't been his best showing.

Before he could act on that thought, captain Tashiro called them over for some comments before ending practice. "Sugawara, your sets veer a little too far to the side and you send them too high at crunch time. You also favored your left side way too much this last time. Our job this year is to work on your control."

"Hai!" Suga bowed deeply, determined but not disheartened by the criticism.

"Asahi, those were some powerful spikes as usual. Of course in a two-on-two you don't need to worry about blockers much, but that won't be the case when we go up against other schools. Right now all your attacks run straight across to the other side of the court, so from now on we need to look for he empty pocket and fire there. You could've had more points if you had sent the ball diagonally, Sawamura was too quick for you every time you came from the left."

Daichi stole a glance at Suga. He was staring intently at their captain, but the corners of his mouth had curled up slightly into a smile. Suga's words from a moment ago rang in Daichi's head: "I knew you'd impress them...you just needed the opportunity to show them that awesome receive." Moments from their match came flashing back to him. Those far left sets, Asahi had no trouble meeting them, but they came straight to Daichi every time. Kurokawa hardly ever had to worry about receiving. Had Suga...had he been throwing those sets far out on purpose? Was he trying to make Asahi hit the ball to Daichi?

"Sawamura!" Daichi quickly reverted his attention back to Tashiro and stood at attention. "That was some strong defense out there. To be honest I hadn't noticed just how solid your receive is until now. You can read the other side well, which is an invaluable skill to have--especially this early on. We've got three strong new members this year and they each excel at one skill. But in volleyball before you can attack, before you can set, someone has to receive the ball. As a receiver you're the first step in the pattern so the team counts on you the most, and today you delivered. You keep digging out those spikes and our back line will become a force to be reckoned with."

"Hai!" Daichi bowed, hoping the low angle would hide the blush on his face. That was the first time the captain had praised him, and it had been quite a compliment!

Tashiro wrapped up practice and the team set about cleaning and putting away the equipment. Each time Daichi passed an upperclassman they congratulated him on his performance, and each time they did he couldn't help but smile to himself. After practice was finished, the third years invited the first years to Sakanoshita and offered to buy them meat buns as a reward for their great game. On the way to the store, Daichi talked with Kurokawa-senpai about the game and about his goals for this year. As Kurokawa went on and on about their performance at inter high preliminaries last year, Daichi stole a glance to his right and saw Asahi surrounded by some second years who were tousling his hair and teasing each other for being "shorter than the new guy." Behind them Suga was talking with the third year setter, Hashimoto, who seemed to be giving him some tips on his hand placement based on the gestures he was making in the air as he tossed an imaginary ball. Suga glanced over at Daichi and gave a sly smirk before turning his gaze back to his senior. There was definitely something fishy about Suga today.

Soon after finishing their meat buns, the team went off in different directions to their respective homes. The first years walked together, comparing stories about teachers and classmates. Asahi was in a different homeroom than Daichi and Suga, and apparently his math teacher Hasegwawa-sensei was notoriously strict. Fortunately for him, math was Asahi's best subject. "Something about the numbers is really calming to me," he said sheepishly. "That's great, Asahi. I know who I'm going to ask for help from now on!" Suga joked. Daichi chuckled to himself. It was hard to imagine Suga struggling with schoolwork of any kind, though he did remember Suga saying that math was his least favorite subject. Suga's best subject was English. "It's impossible for me! Asahi said defeatedly. "I can understand the grammar on paper, but once I'm in front of the teacher and have to speak out loud, I always freeze up and go blank! How about you, Sawamura? What's your favorite subject?"

Daichi had to take a moment to think. He wasn't exactly a stellar student, but he didn't really have any major weaknesses either. Did he even have a favorite subject? "I dunno, classical Japanese I guess?"

"Haha, of course you'd say that," Suga teased. "You're so old-fashioned!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Daichi countered as he nudged Suga playfully with his shoulder. A dull ache rose up in the spot he had landed on during the match earlier. He'd definitely have a bruise there later.

"Nothing, nothing! That's a good quality, Daichi!" Suga reassured him, smiling. "It means you're steady and reliable." Daichi blushed a little at the compliment, thankful that it was probably not visible in the darkness.

"Well, my place is in Tatemachi so I'm off this way. Great game today, you two. See you tomorrow!" Asahi waved as he turned down another street heading west. Daichi and Suga waved him off and resumed their walk home. Once they were alone, Suga asked Daichi about Yui, his old classmate from junior high school. She was in a different class so Suga hadn't met her until to day when he came bouncing into their classroom looking for Daichi. After introducing himself, Suga invited her to eat with them and learned that she had played volleyball in middle school, too. She and Daichi had both been captains of their junior high school club and had both joined Karasuno's teams. Suga seemed to take a liking to Yui instantly, and Daichi was glad to see a familiar face. Karasuno was still new and full of strangers, apart from Suga and the volleyball club members.

"She's really kind. Very earnest, just like you. No wonder you were both captains," he smiled.

"I'm glad you met her. I had a feeling you two would get along," Daichi smiled.

"You two seem close."

"Yeah, I guess. We spent a lot of time together in school and at club. Why, do you think she's cute or something?"

Suga let out a little chuckle. "Nothing like that, Daichi I just thought...you two just seem like good friends, that's all. I'm happy for you."

They walked side by side in silence, Suga seemingly lost in thought and Daichi distracted by the question that had been nagging at him since practice. After a few minutes a fellow classmate passed them on his bicycle, waving and shouting out a "goodnight." Stirred from his thoughts, Daichi finally worked up the nerve to come out with it.

"Hey, Suga, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, of course." Suga turned to face him.

"Our match earlier...did you...were you throwing those tosses out that far on purpose?" Suga's eye's got wider for a split second before he turned his head away and brought his gaze back to the street in front of him. "Why would you think that, Daichi?"

"It's just that I've practiced with you a bunch of times and I never saw you have any trouble controlling the ball that much. You're actually really accurate most of the time. I suppose it could've been nerves, but you didn't seem too worked up to me. I guess I thought it was strange. Sorry, I don't mean to--

Suga had brought a hand up to his face and started chuckling to himself. "Well, well, well, Sawamura. Looks like I wasn't sly enough to fool you." He smiled impishly back at Daichi.

"...I knew it! You tried to lose on purpose!"

"I did not! Asahi still hit every one of my tosses, didn't he?" Daichi wasn't exactly sure what to make of the satisfied smirk on Suga's face.

"Well yeah, but...you kind of made him scramble for them. I was able to dig almost all of his spikes out."

"Exactly." Suga came to a stop and turned to face Daichi. They had reached the point in their walk where they had to turn in different directions. Daichi halted and turned to face Suga, still not sure what he meant by that. They stood there for a moment, Daichi blinking back at his ashen-haired classmate, waiting for an explanation. "You can't help but notice Asahi. His spikes are so powerful that they're all the senpais are talking about. Receives aren't flashy, but they're just as important. Maybe more, don't you think?"

At last, all the pieces fell together. That's why Suga had paired himself with Asahi. He was trying to make sure the Daichi had a chance to shine in the practice match. Those far tosses meant Asahi would have to do a straight attack and Daichi would be ready for them. And that final toss--Daichi flashed back to that moment when he had fallen. Suga had seen him slip and had thrown the toss high to buy him an extra second, just enough time to get under the ball.

"It was all for me."

Suga giggled, glancing coyly back at Daichi. "Well, when you put it like that--"

"--but you made yourself look weak."

"Daichi, there are only two setters on our team. One is me, and one is a third year. I can't compete with Hashimoto, but after the third years leave I'm the only choice we have. I'm not too worried." Suga smirked as he turned to head downhill towards his own home. Daichi stood dumbfounded. How had he already figured all of this out? _Forget about volleyball technique, this guy ought to be a spy! He's a tactical mastermind._ He couldn't have planned that more perfectly. And it had all been for Daichi's sake. He could scarcely believe Suga had gone to so much trouble just for him. There was something truly special about Sugawara, about the way he seemed to be able to see the big picture so clearly and about how he was constantly thinking about other people. It was honestly amazing to Daichi that he had met someone so..., well, so--

"Oyasumi, new superstar." Suga's farewell finally snapped Daichi out of his inner monologue. He glanced over to watch Suga heading down the hill, his back to Daichi, waving his hand gently. Daichi rushed after him. He had to thank Suga. He had to make it up to him somehow.

"Suga!" Daichi called from behind. Suga whirled around to face him. "Let's practice hard so we can both play together. I want to share the court with you!" It was only after he said it that he realized what an embarrassing declaration he'd just made, but Daichi stood firm. Embarrassing or not, he had meant it.

Suga blinked back at him, taken aback by his friend's sudden earnestness. But soon his lips curled up into that familiar smile and he nodded back at Daichi, eyes beaming.

"It's a promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...jaysus, writing volleyball action is hard! And I played volleyball for like six years!  ><
> 
> Also, omg what even ARE titles? I honestly didn't even realize I'd have to think of one until I started posting this. Welp.
> 
> So as I mentioned before, this is my first time writing anything so feel free to comment/critique/troll/etc.


	2. A Closed Hand, Full of Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I will find my means to an end.  
> with an open-hearted hope and a closed hand, full of friends."  
> \--Foy Vance
> 
> Flash forward to the beginning of Daichi and Suga's second year on Karasuno, and a new threat to Karasuno's volleyball team brings the two closer together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! This one can also kind of be read as a one-shot, but after this the story will start to get more complicated. Love takes time, you know ;)
> 
> More of our favorite characters make an appearance in this one. Enjoy!

It had been two weeks since the first year members had started skipping practice. The first to leave was Ennoshita. He went home early one day claiming he felt sick and never returned. By the end of the first week, every first year member except for Tanaka and Nishinoya had all but disappeared. Their absence left a palpable tension inside the gym during practices. Suga had tried his best to encourage the team, grabbing anyone who looked distracted by the change in atmosphere and pulling them over for some one-on-one practice to keep their mind off it. "Don't worry, everyone, your setter isn't going anywhere," he teased. Daichi did his best to keep the team motivated too, even inviting the two first years who stayed to the extra practices that he, Suga, and Asahi had made into a tradition the year before. The best he could do besides that was to keep showing up every day and giving his all. Daichi never thought of himself as charismatic--not like Suga or coach Ukai. He had a hard time putting his thoughts and feelings into eloquent words unless he was really inspired. He didn't have the commanding physical presence of someone like Asahi or the electric personality of someone like Nishinoya. But Daichi possessed a steady sureness about himself that put others at ease, and his instincts told him what the team needed right now after being shaken up like this was a sense of stability and a push in the right direction. The best way he knew how to help everyone else was to keep going, undaunted. If he could be the first one to step forward, surely it would be easier for everyone else to do the same. And so far that had seemed to be the case: following his lead, the team members rallied together to practice even harder and make up for their dwindling numbers, and Tanaka and Nishinoya seemed to throw themselves into training with even more zeal than before (if that were possible).

Daichi still worried about the team. Of course he did. But he occupied himself mostly with bolstering the current members' morale during practices rather than trying to talk with the deserters. He didn't really know what he could say to them anyway. That was Suga's thing: the talking.

At the beginning of the third week, during what had become their traditional post-practice walk home, Asahi finally broke the silence. "I don't think any of them are coming back." His voice was low and heavy, nearly drowned in the swirling sound of cicadas buzzing in the trees around them.

"Asahi! Why are you always so pessimistic?" Suga jokingly shouted, jumping a bit to bop the taller boy on the head.

"Sugaaaaa, I'm just sad is all. I kind of liked having them around, and Nishinoya and Tanaka must feel kind of lonely."

"I wouldn't worry too much about those two, Asahi, they're pretty tough," Daichi said.

"I'd be more worried about the ones who left, I think I saw Noya and Tanaka literally trying to drag Ennoshita to the gym last week!" Suga chimed in.

"It's not just that, you guys. It's..." Asahi trailed off for a moment, "I'm just thinking about numbers."

"You're always thinking about numbers, Asahi. That's why you're my math tutor," Suga quipped. Daichi stuffed his meat bun into his mouth to keep from laughing aloud. He could tell whatever Asahi was talking about was seriously worrying him, and he didn't want to insult him by laughing at a time like this.

"Fuga, wet him talk. Afahi, you know you can tell uff," he chewed, trying to offer some reassurance through pieces of steamed _nikuman_. 

"I mean the number of people on our team," Asahi explained. "You know last year we were the smallest pool of new members in the club's history. And now with these new members leaving we only have two. It's not much longer before the third years stop coming. That means we've got a team of five including a libero, which isn't a full position."

Daichi nearly choked.

Asahi continued. "Even if some third years stick around to help us, who knows how many new people will join next year. One? None? I don't care about winning or losing that much, but as far as I'm concerned, the 'flightless crows' are officially an endangered species."

Daichi had stopped dead in his tracks, half-eaten meat bun hanging from his mouth.

An endangered species. He was, for the first time since he touched a volleyball in junior high school, being forced to consider the possibility of giving up the game. Suddenly he felt like he was going to throw up. Volleyball was everything to him. He had spent years practicing to be able to play on this team. He had obsessively checked with his junior high school advisors to make sure his marks were good enough to get him in to Karasuno. He had watched every one of their matches in the inter-high tournaments, memorizing the names and numbers of the players. Most importantly, he had dedicated almost every waking moment of the last five years to volleyball. Every late night or early morning practice, every bruised elbow, or skinned knee, every drop of sweat or tear shed was a sacrifice made for the sake of being able to stand on the court as a proud member of Karasuno's team. And now that dream was threatening to be ripped out from under him. Torn away from him, from Asahi, from Suga--

"Now look what you've done, stubble-face!" Suga shouted mockingly, grabbing Daichi and quite literally shaking him from his thoughts. "You've gone and upset Daichi."

Daichi was grateful to Suga for snapping him out of his panic attack, but his doubts lingered. "Suga what...what if he's right though? What if we don't have enough people to play anymore?"

"You don't need to worry about that because that is NOT going to happen."

"How can you be so sure?" Asahi asked hesitantly.

"Because I don't care if I have to get on my knees and beg or bribe them to just stand on the court while the rest of us play, those first years are coming back."

"Suga?"

"As long as there is breath in my body, I'm not gonna let anything stop you from being able to play for Karasuno for as long as possible."

In the heat of the moment, in the midst of the shock, some of the details were lost on Daichi. It wasn't until much later that he realized although Suga was talking to Asahi, he had been looking straight into Daichi's eyes when he said that. And that he had used the word "you" and not "us."

The three walked in silence until they reached the fork in the road where Asahi broke off to head towards his own home, apologizing for "spoiling the mood."

Suga and Daichi bid him goodnight and resumed their walk home side by side. They were silent, Suga staring intently into the darkness ahead of them. Normally Daichi quite enjoyed their silent walks together, but he was still a little anxious about the situation with the first years and what Asahi had said about the future of the team. To be honest, he was even a little worried about Suga. It wasn't like him to get so worked up about anything--or at least Daichi had never seen it before. Was Suga worried too? Had he just been putting on a front for Asahi back then?

"They will come back, you know. I wasn't lying just to appease you two." Right on cue, Suga answered the question for him. Grateful again for Suga's ability to read the air, Daichi let out a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding.

"Well, you're usually right about these things so if you say so then I believe you. But something tells me we can't just sit here waiting for them."

Suga nodded, still staring ahead intently. "Ennoshita's the one to talk to."

_Ennoshita?_ Daichi might not have voiced his surprise, but he knew he didn't have to. Suga would pick up on it. He always did.

"He's the leader, you know. Everyone looks to him. Nobody left until he did, and no body's coming back unless he does."

"The leader?"

"Of the first years anyway."

"Hunh. I guess with such dominant personalities like Nishinoya and Tanaka I wouldn't have guessed that everyone really looks to Ennoshita. Not the one I'd immediately peg as the leader, but actually he's got the perfect personality for it."

Suga turned to look Daichi in the eyes, smiling sweetly. "I guess he's kinda like you, then."

Daichi could feel his face flush. He quickly turned away, hoisting his bag strap higher up onto his shoulders.

"Well, if you already knew that, why haven't you talked to him yet?"

"Because I'm not the one he'll listen to."

Daichi felt his stomach drop.

"...I don't know."

Suga refused to let his gaze waver. It burned. Daichi could feel his ears grow hot. He stared down at the gravel below him as we walked. _Don't make me say it, Suga..._

And he didn't. Before the thought left his mind, Suga grabbed him by the arm, forcing Daichi to face his gaze.

"It's not your fault, you know."

Of course Suga had seen it. Daichi hadn't voiced it to anyone, not even to himself, but since Ennoshita's disappearance a doubt had nestled itself into the back of his mind. Had he been somehow responsible? All the upperclassmen tried their best to help the new players, but certain players had naturally drifted towards each other. Daichi had immediately recognized Ennoshita's potential as a back row defender much like himself and had tried to spend extra time with him offering guidance. Daichi liked Ennoshita; he was earnest, polite, and hard-working. But there was a hesitant manner to the way he did everything. Daichi couldn't help but wonder if maybe he hadn't done enough to make Ennoshita feel welcome. Had he not spent enough time with him? Or maybe he had been too overbearing, a little too hard on the new player. Maybe Ennoshita simply didn't look up to him as a leader. Daichi had never questioned himself as a leader in junior high, but he had never dealt with a player like Ennoshita. Truth be told it had been hard for Daichi to really know what was going on in that kid's head. Maybe he had missed the signs. Maybe if he had tried encouraging him more or given him more motivation--

"Daichi!" Suga was now griping him by both arms. "You had nothing to do with him leaving, you know that. If anything, you're the one person who can bring him back. He really does look up to you, even if he never said so. If anyone's going to get through to him it's you."

Daichi felt stupid for letting his doubts get the better of him, and embarrassed for letting Suga see that side of him. But mostly he was grateful for the way Suga could swoop right in and know just what to say. He always did.

"...sorry. You're right."

"I'm always right," Suga teased, punching Daichi square in the gut before returning to his leisurely stroll down the empty street.

Clutching his stomach, Daichi laughed to himself. Suga was the only one who would land such a cheap shot at a moment like this. And probably the only one who could get away with it.

"Ok fine, but what do I say to him?" Daichi asked after bounding down the road to catch up with his teammate.

"Whatever it takes"

"Aaaaaargh, Suga you know that's your thing," Daichi grumbled, rubbing his face with his hands just thinking about the conversation awaiting him tomorrow.

"What, talking? Just because I do it more--"

"You know what I mean. Knowing the right thing to say. I don't have the words for that. They never come to me like they do for you."

With that Suga let out one of his trademark giggles. "Daichi, you don't have to recite poetry to him. Just say what you feel, it's as simple as that."

"But how will that be enough?"

"Because it's you."

"Huh?" As much much as Daichi appreciated the fact that Suga could read his mind, he often wished it worked both ways. Daichi always felt like he was chasing after Suga's train of thought. He really was aways one step behind his friend.

"Daichi, do you know why I always give speeches? It's because I'm not powerful in person. I have to use flowery words because people don't listen to me otherwise."

"Suga, that's not--"

"You're different, Daichi. You're inspiring all by yourself, you don't need to try hard. Actually, I think that's why everyone is drawn to you when you talk. It's because you speak simply, straight from the heart. We know you believe every word you say. And seeing that, I can't help believe it myself too."

"Suga..." There were so many things Daichi wanted to say to Suga. How grateful he was for the vote of confidence, how much it meant to know Suga trusted him, but most importantly how wrong Suga was if he thought, even for a second, that he wasn't an inspiration to the team. He struggled to craft the feelings twisting inside of him into something coherent but they rattled around in his mind, each fighting for purchase on his tongue, and in the end none came out. How did Suga ever think Daichi could convince Ennoshita to come back to the team when he couldn't even speak to his best friend? Glancing back at Suga again Daichi could see, even through the darkness, that Suga was blushing. The corners of his mouth curled upwards but his smile was strained, his lips tight against one another, his eyes downcast. Every protective impulse in Daichi flared up and in that moment the only thing that mattered to Daichi was making sure Suga never made that face because of him again. Daichi relied on Suga constantly, but this was the first time Daichi had realized that perhaps Suga needed him too. Perhaps cheerful, sunny Suga wasn't always as strong as he pretended. Daichi knew then and there what he needed to do, and he knew that he would do it. For the team. For Suga.

"I'll talk to him. Tomorrow." Daichi placed a hand on Suga's shoulder. His grip was firm, his voice unwavering.

He could feel the tension leave Suga's body as he said the words. A real smile lit up his face and he leaned into Daichi's arm, pulling him into a tight embrace. "Thank you, Daichi, I know you can do it."

Daichi couldn't help the goofy grin that spread across his own face as he squeezed his best friend back. It felt good to see Suga return to his usual self, even if he was still uneasy at the idea of talking to Ennoshita.

Soon the two reached the split in the road where Suga headed downhill towards his home. Before turning to head home, Suga gave Daichi one last hug.

"You'll know what to say. I promise."

"I sure hope you're right," Daichi said through gritted teeth as Suga started down the hill. "Though I doubt it'll be an easy conversation either way."

Suga craned his head back around, grinning mischievously and shouted back, "Worse than the idea of never playing volleyball again?"

Daichi's heart began thumping wildly in his chest and his fists clenched. Of course not.

"Then just maybe he feels the same."

And with that Suga disappeared down the alleyway leading to his home.

* * *

 

The next day at lunchtime, Daichi stopped at the top of the stairwell leading up to the second year homerooms. Taking several deep breaths, he began walking down the hall and braced himself for the confrontation with Ennoshita. _Remember what Suga told you. Just say what you honestly feel and he'll get the point_.

"Umm, is there someone you're looking for, Sawamura-san?" one of the first year members of the girl's volleyball team seated near the door had stood to meet him at the doorway, tugging at her skirt nervously with her fingers nervously as she spoke to Daichi.

"Oh, sorry I was just wondering if I could talk to Enoshita for a mintue."

Peering over her shoulder, Daichi spotted Enoshita at his desk. He was staring out the window, bento lunch sitting untouched on his desk. As his classmate called his name, he turned listlessly towards the doorway. When his eyes met Daichi's, he froze.

Daichi cocked his head to the side nervously, motioning to the hallway. Ennoshita looked like he was dreading this talk just as much as Daichi, but he rose from his seat anyway.

Daichi leaned against the wall, hands clenched in his pockets, while Ennoshita slowly emerged from the classroom, eyes on the ground. The two of them stood in silence for a moment. Daichi wondering exactly how to start the conversation. After about 30 seconds he noticed Ennoshita starting to fidget.

"Hehehe. I guess we already know why I'm here, huh?"

A gust of air escaped Ennoshita's lips and his jaw loosened. He was smiling. "To be honest, I'm surprised you waited this long, Sawmura-senpai."

There it was. Daichi could feel that swell of guilt in his stomach. Ennoshita did look up to him after all. Had he taken Daichi's reluctance as a sign of indifference? Whatever the reason, it was clear now he had to confront this. For both of their sakes.

"Senpai, I've had this talk with everyone else on the team already--

"Ennoshita I came to apologize."

"--and there's nothing you can...you...what?" Ennoshita's eyebrows arched upward and his eyes bulged in surprise. "Apologize? To me? Why?"

"For not noticing sooner. That you were struggling. I'm not so good at reading people or subtext or, well...this," he said, waving his had back and forth between the two of them. "It's our job as upperclassmen to support all of you, and I feel like you especially were someone I should have looked after more, our positions being so similar."

"Sawamura-senpai...I can't believe you actually think this is somehow you fault," Ennoshita laughed incredulously. "You've been more than welcoming and supportive, ok? If anything, it's intimidating to have to compare myself to you. To everyone."

_Bingo._ At last, Daichi understood. "You feel like you don't measure up?"

"How can I not? I'm no match for everyone else on the team in terms of skills. Every time coach Ukai makes me go through those drills again and again it's so embarrassing. I can feel the team being held back because of me. I'm...you're all better off without me."

_Speak from the heart, Daichi._ He could almost hear Suga encouraging him from the sidelines as always. Smiling, he landed a punch on his kouhai's shoulder.

"Ennoshita, if you truly believe that then we are both idiots."

"Ow! What's that for?"

"For missing the point completely. No one on the team cares how good you are. We're all at practice because we want to get better. And because we want to be there. All you have to do is believe you can help us. If you don't believe that, you never will. I'll never ask you to be perfect, Ennoshita. Heck, that's the last thing I'd ever ask of anyone. That's not Karasuno. It's not about belonging because you're good enough. It's about belonging because you're with other people who want the same thing: to play. If you still want to play volleyball, then I think that's reason enough to come back."

Daichi smiled as the words rolled of his tongue. There was no simpler truth to him in this moment, and he knew this was exactly what Suga was talking about. He noticed Ennoshita's eyes widen for a moment before his gaze fell to the floor. Confident he had struck a chord, Daichi thought it best to leave things there."I'll leave you to think it over," he said and made his way back down the corridor. After a few seconds, he heard Ennoshita's voice call out from behind him.

"I ran away, Sawamura. I can't show my face to the team again. The idea of coming back now is..."

Chuckling to himself, Daichi recalled Suga's face lit up by moonlight the night before as he called back over his shoulder. "Worse than the idea of never playing volleyball again?"

He didn't need to turn around. He could hear his kouhai's voice falter. He could feel the same passion that burned inside of him ignite once again. Daichi strode confidently down the hallway to the stairwell and down the stairs. He had to tell Suga.

Daichi spent the entire warmup that day looking over his shoulder at the door, waiting for a glimpse of Ennoshita. As the minutes ticked by the knot in his stomach grew tighter. He's coming. He has to. Daichi felt his heart sink when coach Ukai blew the whistle to start practice. He busied himself with drills and practice matches, focusing all his mental energy on training. But every time the team stopped for a water break or to change up rotations, Daichi couldn't help glancing back at the doors to gymnasium.

That night as he finished packing up and storing away the equipment for the night, Daichi felt a hand on his shoulder.

"It's ok, Daichi. He needs a day to think about it. He probably didn't even have his uniform with him anyway."

"...thanks, Suga. I hope you're right."

"I'm always right" he said, punching Daichi in the gut again. "Now hurry up and get your things, we have to hurry if we want to get there in time."

"Huh?" Daichi recoiled, clutching his stomach. "Get there in time? Suga, where are we going?"

"Ramen-ya. Last order is in 45 minutes. Tonight your shio ramen's on me!" Beaming, Suga threw Daichi's bag at him and scampered off to the changing room.

* * *

 

The next day, Daichi caught himself stealing glances over his shoulder at the doorway all during practice. Ennoshita didn't come. And he didn't come the next day either. Suga tried extra hard to keep his spirits up, but it was clear to both of them that Ennoshita might never come back.

At Friday's practice, Daichi was a wreck. He wasn't exactly sure why, but something told him instinctively that today was the last chance. If no one showed up, it would be time to accept that Ennoshita was gone for good. Everyone else seemed to sense it too, and tensions ran high as the players all went through their warm-up stretches.

"Maybe if we try talking to him one more time?" Asahi offered half-heartedly.

"We've said all we could, now it's up to him to decide for himself," Daichi answered. He tried his best to appear confident, but truth be told he was probably the most nervous of all.

The whole team watched in agony while the seconds ticked by. As the minute hand moved closer and closer to the starting time for practice, everyone began to lose hope. When the hourly bell finally rang, it stung Daichi's ears. The entire team sat for a moment in stunned silence. Daichi felt his stomach fall. He had been so sure he reached Ennoshita that day. Maybe he had only been fooling himself.

It was Suga's voice that finally broke the silence.

"Well, time to get going! I'm feeling extra accurate today, so I say we do some spiking drills!" he chirped, grabbing Daichi's shoulder to help hoist himself off the ground.

Daichi felt the hand on his shoulder give him a tight squeeze before Suga went bounding off towards the court, cheerful smile plastered on his face. Unconsciously he brought his own hand up to the spot Suga had squeezed him in an act of reassurance. _I hope you're right, Suga..._

Practice started as usual with warm-ups and drills. Daichi quickly cleared the doubts from his mind and tried his hardest to focus on practice for the team and for Suga. He threw himself into each drill with total focus and energy. But every time he stood in line waiting his turn he couldn't help hear Asahi's words echo in his mind.

_As far I'm concerned, the unflying crows are an endangered species._

As he stepped to the front of the line, he glanced over at Suga waiting for the pass. Suga was smiling. And his smile was real. That smile infused Daichi with a renewed sense of hope. He replayed the words Suga had spoken a few days earlier.

_As long as there is breath in my body, I'm not gonna let anything stop you from being able to play for Karasuno for as long as possible._

If Suga could be sure that things would turn out ok then Daichi had to believe him. He made a silent promise to himself that he would do everything in his power to make sure he and Suga could play together as long as they were at Karasuno. Smiling back, he threw out a pass to Suga, who tossed the ball in the exact arc Daichi preferred. Daichi approached the ball steadily, reared back with his hands and shot up to hit the ball at the height of his jump. In moments like these Daichi clung to what remained constant. The patterns of movement his muscles had long since memorized, the feel of the ball as his hand made contact, the silent communication he could share with Suga, and the unyielding passion they shared for the game. Daichi watched as the ball sailed clean over the net and into the corner on the opposite side of the court. "

Nice kill, Sawamura!" Nishinoya called out. Daichi glanced back over to Suga, who winked at him. He shook his head, smiling to himself. Things were going to be ok. He trusted Suga. Daichi ducked underneath the net and jogged over to the far side of the court to retrieve the ball he spiked. It had bounced over towards the side of the court. His eyes followed the ball as it rolled toward the doorway to the gym. He was startled to see it bump up against a pair of feet. Daichi's heart leaped in his chest as he caught sight of a familiar face. Standing in the doorway, fidgeting nervously, was Ennoshita. He had come back.

At this point, almost everyone in the gym had taken notice of their visitor. Ennoshita looked terrified, but Daichi tried his best to reassure him with a smile. Ennoshita seemed to take some courage from this, and at once he bowed deeply.

"I'm sorry for skipping practices, please let me play again!" he shouted earnestly.

Daichi was overcome with happiness. Eagerly, he stepped forward to welcome Ennoshita.

"Thank goodness you're back--"

"Don't come wearing your school uniform, then. If you're ready to come back..." the captain's voice came booming from behind him.

Daichi recoiled slightly, embarrassed at having overstepped his bounds. It wasn't his place to decide how to welcome Ennoshita back. Or whether to do so at all.

As Ennoshita ran back towards the changing rooms, Daichi caught sight of him waving over two other second years: Narita and Kinoshita. They must have been waiting for Ennoshita to make the first move. Suga had been right all along.

"Maintaining relationships with everyone is tough, but you can't just be big softie all the time, you know..." captain Kurokawa chided, looking more tired than usual. With coach Ukai's recent hospitalization, he must have felt even more pressure.

"R-right." Daichi could tell those words had been directed at him. He quickly bowed in deference to the captain, but despite his embarrassment at having stepped on the captain's toes, Daichi couldn't help feeling giddy himself at the thought of Karasuno's team reclaiming its new members. Forgetting his worry, Daichi ran back to his place in line for the spiking drill. At once practice continued as usual, but the energy in the room was noticeably different--the whole team moved with an extra spring in their step.

Soon the captain split the team into two groups for running drills. As he was walking to his place, Daichi felt a familiar hand on his shoulder. Suga's smile was blazing. "Told ya," he said as he winked at Daichi.

"Suga, thank you for--

Before he could finish, Suga shushed him, pointing over Daichi's shoulder. Glancing behind him, Daichi saw the three first years standing in the doorway, looking a bit hesitant. Smiling, Daichi motioned them over to the other side of the gym, where the other first years were starting their running drills. "Anyway, I wanted...to...

Suga had already joined up with the other second and third year members for their running drill, waving Daichi over to join them. Daichi chuckled to himself, making a mental note to buy Suga a meat bun after practice.

* * *

 

As the third years walked home, _nikuman_ in hand, Daichi allowed himself a moment to bask in the happiness of that moment: the cool kiss of the night breeze against his face, the satisfying taste of _nikuman_ after a grueling day of practice, and the relief painted on everyone's faces as their fears about the team finally assuaged. It was if the tension simmering between everyone had finally evaporated and he felt lighter, freer somehow.

As they approached his neighborhood Asahi bid them goodnight, promising to return Suga's English notes on Monday. Daichi and Suga fell silent for the last leg of their trip. They walked like that, sharing a moment of contentment for a few minutes.

"You know, he was talking to you for a reason, Daichi." Suga was finally the one to speak.

"Hm? You mean, Kurokawa?" Suga nodded, silently. After a year of friendship, Daichi had become a little better at following Suga's thoughts. What had initially felt like a game slowly began to make sense after months of practice. Suga was always looking at the bigger picture, seeing how every little piece fit together in the puzzle and understanding how every little decision now was connected to the future. It was something completely foreign to Daichi who lived every moment as he experienced it in the present, rarely bothering to try and predict the future. It made more sense to him to think about what he could do right now. Trying to keep up with Suga took some effort, but Daichi appreciated the perspective it gave him.

"Ahh, yeah. I guess I should've let him handle that one. Kind of overstepped my bounds there, but I was just so happy to see Ennoshita back..."

Suga giggled to himself. "That's not what I meant, Daichi. I don't think Nakamura really cares about that hierarchy stuff. I think he meant that more as advice. I think he's trying to prepare you."

"Prepare me? For what?" Maybe Daichi wasn't as good at this as he thought.

"Being captain. Looks like I'm not the only one who spotted the leader."

Daichi felt his heart pound against his ribs. "Me? Captain?" He'd be lying if he said the thought never crossed his mind, but he'd never seriously considered it. It wasn't up to him anyway, and Daichi wasn't the sort to obsess over the details of things he had little control over. Not like Suga.

"Really, Daichi, who else could do the job but you?" Suga laughed, giving him a light punch in the arm. "More than that, who would do as good a job as you?"

"Err, well...I mean, Kurokawa senpai isn't really the one who decides that anyway."

"He doesn't have to. The whole team is looking to you, Daichi. You do know that, right?"

"I..." Daichi never knew how to respond to Suga's compliments. It made his stomach flutter the way Suga could dish them out so freely and unashamedly. He tried to change the subject. "Suga, can I ask you one thing?"

"Of course."

"Was all this another one of your...um, plots to make me look good in front of everyone? Is that why you had me convince Ennoshita instead of doing it yourself?"

"No." Daichi knew Suga well enough to know this was the truth. "I really do think you were the best one, maybe the only one to bring them back. That was all there was to it. You don't need any help in convincing the team of your...captainy-ness."

"Captainy-ness?" Daichi snickered.

"Well, I don't have a better word for it!" Suga huffed, giving Daichi a playful nudge with his shoulders. As their laughter subsided, the two fell silent once again. Daichi loved those easy silences he and Suga shared where no words were needed. Something so natural. So simple. It wasn't until they reached the fork in the road that Suga spoke up again, smiling gently up at him.

"You'll be a great captain, Daichi."

Before he could start down the road to his home Daichi instinctively reached out and caught Suga's arm, turning him back around.

"Only if I have you next to me." The words had come so easily. Suga really had been right; all Daichi ever had to do was speak what was true to him. And the truth was always so obvious with Suga. He felt glad he could so easily say such things to his friend, just as Suga was always so quick to praise and support him.

Suga, for his part, stood there frozen. His mouth hung slightly open and his eyes were wild with surprise, searching for something in Daichi's--though what exactly it was he couldn't be sure.

They stood for a moment like that, neither one moving or breaking eye contact, before Daichi realized he was still gripping Suga's arm. He finally released it, smirking to himself that he had finally caught the I-see-everything-coming-Suga by surprise. "You'll be my vice captain, won't you?"

Suga turned away, and Daichi barely heard the words "of course" escape his lips.

Of course? As in of course he would? Or... There was a gravity to Suga's answer that seemed out of place. Daichi took the position of captain and vice captain as serious as anyone (probably more so), but it almost seemed like there was more to all this than just the job for Suga. Maybe being vice captain meant more to Suga than he'd thought. Knowing better than to try and guess what was happening in his mind, Daichi decided he could be patient. There was no need for an answer yet.

"Umm, anyway my mom said she's making mapo tofu for dinner tonight. It won't be super spicy how you like it, but if you wanted--"

"Love..."

"...Suga?"

Finally Suga turned back to face him. His eyes were glowing once again.

 

"I'd love to. Yes. To everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that's done. This fic is looking to be about 10 chapters long and I've already written 5, so hopefully I can keep a fairly steady pace when posting.
> 
> I hope you enjoy. Again this is my first time writing ever so any constructive criticism is welcome. Lots of talented writers on here to learn from...


	3. After All, We're Only Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "After all, we're only human:  
> always fighting what we're feeling  
> hurt instead of healing."  
> \-- Jon McLaughlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAICHI!!!!!! At least, it's already his birthday here in Japan. Of course I couldn't let my boyfriend Thighchi's big day pass without a new chapter, right?
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is where the story really starts to pick up. Thanks for sticking with me if you've made it this far.

"I'd love to. Yes. To everything."

Suga didn't have to wait long for his prediction to come true. Within a few months the third years left the club on the heels of a crushing defeat in the first round of Inter-High qualifiers. Nobody was surprised when Daichi was chosen as the new captain, and no one so much as blinked when he immediately named Suga his vice captain. The two led the club as a team. As one unit. Daichi felt stronger with Suga beside him, and he had to admit they complemented one another perfectly. Daichi could play the strong, silent type who led by example and stepped in when discipline was necessary while Suga was Karasuno's tireless cheerleader as he showered his fellow players with encouragement and fostered a strong rapport amongst all the members. The team flourished under their leadership, even in the absence of Ukai, whose health had taken a turn for the worse again. Karasuno was still sloppy and unbalanced as far as ability, but (thanks in large part to Suga) the team had started to feel like a family. Daichi didn't mind being jokingly given the title of "Dad" and Suga seemed to actually enjoy the idea of being called "Mom" by the underclassmen. He'd never admit it out loud, but Daichi's heart swelled when he thought of this ragtag bunch of misfits being his and Suga's "family" in some way or another. Truly there were few things he would have asked for in place of this. This team, this year together, this family. And Suga made the perfect partner.

The two of them had only grown closer with each passing day--close enough for Daichi to actually know what was going on in Suga's mind about half the time. Close enough for Suga to have no qualms about wiping sauce from the corner of Daichis mouth with his thumb or using Daichi's torso as a hand warmer during winter. Close enough that Suga could actually challenge or lecture Daichi without fear of facing his scary side. And close enough that Daichi, for the first time ever, began to notice the tiny chinks in the armor Suga wore daily. After two years of friendship Daichi could spot the signs of Suga's distress, even when he was doing his best to cover it up: the way he fussed with the hem of his shirt, or took three deep breaths while staring ahead, they way his eyes never sparkled when his smile wasn't genuine, and--when he was truly upset--the trips he made to his secret hideout.

Daichi had discovered it by accident one afternoon after practice when he invited Suga to his house for a study session.

"You nervous about the English exam on Monday?" Suga teased.

"Actually, it was Michimiya who suggested it; I'm all caught up on my vocab, mister!" Daichi said, gently poking Suga in the rib. Michimiya and Suga had become rather close in the past year, often studying together. Daichi was always convinced that she was interested in Suga, but every time he brought it up Suga denied it. Apparently Yui had her eye on someone else, but Daichi wasn't so sure.

"Oh really?" Suga giggled, swatting Daichi's hand out of the way. "Well you'll just have to impart your supreme knowledge to her on your own. I've got to hurry home and take care of some housework for my mom. My aunt is visiting so we're having a special dinner tonight. Here, I'll lend you two my notes if you want." And with that he fished out a notebook from his bag, handing it over to Daichi.

"Are you sure? Won't you need it to study this weekend?"

"Just bring it to Sunday practice or swing by my house later," Suga waved him away casually. Go on ahead, I'll lock up today. Don't wanna keep your study buddy waiting, do you?" he smiled back.

"Thanks, Suga. I promise I'll get it back to you!" Daichi said, carefully sliding the notebook into his own bag. He got all the way out the door of school before remembering that he'd left his math textbook behind in the changing room. _Crap! And Suga had said he was going to hurry home too._ Daichi sprinted back towards the changing room, hoping Suga hadn't already closed up. When he twisted the handle he was relieved to see it wasn't locked, but when he opened the door he found something strange. Suga's volleyball bag was still inside, his books neatly stacked on top. Glancing around the room, Daichi called out for Suga but no one answered. Had he left his bag here on accident? That didn't seem like him. Grabbing the book from his locker, Daichi noticed the window was still open. Surely Suga wouldn't have forgotten that as well. As he walked over to close it, something caught his eye. Through the window he could see someone sitting outside in a grassy patch behind the building: a mop of silver hair resting on top of a familiar white sweatshirt. Suga sat in the grass hugging his knees to his chest, eyes closed and face to the skies. Daichi peered down on him from the second story window, wondering what exactly he was doing there. Didn't he say he had to hurry home?

Suga's brow was furrowed, and there was a pained expression pulled tight across his lips. It was the first time Daichi had been allowed to see Suga at his most vulnerable. A part of him felt supremely guilty for spying, like he was taking something without permission. Deep down he knew that Suga must have lied to him because he didn't want to be seen like this. His conscience tugged at him, but Daichi couldn't help watching. He stayed there at the window for a few minutes, watching transfixed until Suga shifted positions and opened his eyes. Daichi quickly darted away from the window and shoved the textbook into his bag before running out the door and through the hallways to meet up with Michimiya at the front gate.

"Sorry I kept you waiting!" he called out. She turned toward the familiar voice and waved a cheery hello.

"It's fine, Sawamura, you must be busy with practice. Is everything ok?"

"Ah...yeah, just forgot one of my books in my locker and had to run back for it. Anyway, Suga has plans already so he can't make it but he lent me his notes so we'll definitely be prepared for Monday," he grinned at her, trying to banish the vision of Suga's clenched jaw and balled fists from his mind.

"Oh. Umm...that's too bad, I guess it's just the two of us then. Just like old times, huh?" Michimiya was smiling, but he could see her hand clenching her empty juice carton to the point of crushing it. She was probably upset Suga wouldn't be there, too.

Daichi accomplished very little during that study session. After the third time he caught himself staring blankly at the wall, he noticed Michimiya watching him intently. Her book was open to the same page it had been when they started. Clearly she had noticed, too. Neither one of them was going to get anywhere like this.

"Sorry, Michimiya. I guess I'm not such a great study partner, huh?"

"No! I'm sure it's hard to focus when you have so many new responsibilities to deal with as captain."

"Well, I could say the same for you then, captain," he smirked.

A blush crept onto Michimiya's face. She was normally so full of vigor, but every now and then she could become quite shy. It always puzzled Daichi how quickly she could switch between her bold and unsure selves. "I-I'm really not cut out to be a leader. It's just that no one else wanted to do it. They kind of forced me to be the captain," she fidgeted nervously.

"I'm glad they did," Daichi said, placing a hand on hers. "It's nice to have someone who knows what it's like."

"I...me too. I guess it's just like old times at Izumitate, huh?" she laughed.

"Yeah." Daichi leaned back in his chair, letting his memories drift back to their days as captains of their junior high school teams.

A soft punch to his shoulder pulled him out of his reverie.

"You haven't changed at all, Daichi. You dream so big so shamelessly. With no hesitation. It's one of the best things about you." Yui was staring intently at him. Back to her earnest self like the flip of a coin.

Daichi felt his cheeks grow hot as she went on.

"It's true. I've never been that confident naturally. But...you make everyone feel like all those things we secretly wish for are really possible. I feel like I can dare to believe it when I talk to you."

"Yui..."

"So let's dream big together this year! This is the year Karasuno will make a name for itself again! We need to help each other, so please let me count on you!" She nearly shouted, knocking her books to the floor.

Daichi smiled. This was the Yui he liked best. Determined and sure. "Of course. I'll be counting on you, too." He bent to pick up her books. "But maybe we should make sure we don't fail all our exams next week so we can keep playing," he said chuckling. Yui bent to pick them up as well and their hands brushed lightly as they reached for the same vocabulary textbook.

"You're the one who's slacking!" she said, quickly grabbing the book and whacking him playfully on the arm. "Now!" She slapped her hands to each of her cheeks, opening her textbook. "Let's see if you're as good at conditionals as you are at scheming for nationals!"

Had he been paying more attention, Daichi would have noticed his name written over and over again in curvy script all over the margins of Yui's textbook.

* * *

 

The next morning, Daichi walked to Suga's to return the notebook. As he walked the familiar path to his best friend's house he replayed their conversation from that day over and over in his mind. Nothing Suga had said or done before practice had seemed out of the ordinary; Suga had been his usual cheerful self. Daichi sifted through every memory of the time they had spent together had week, searching for some hint or sign of what could have upset Suga. It wasn't unusual for Daichi to let something go over his head, especially where Suga was concerned, but this was the first time he had caught Suga deliberately hiding something from him.

A sharp, painful, cramp shot through his hand and Daichi glanced down to realize he was holding the notebook in a death grip. Shaking his hand to loosen the muscles back up, he rounded the corner and followed the line of houses until his eyes landed on the familiar facade of the Sugawara household. The roofing on Suga's house was much darker than most of the other houses around it, and its eaves sloped down farther out than a typical house, covering an ample veranda in the front. Suga claimed it was because their family had been fairly well off in the distant past when the house was built, though Daichi suspected he was being modest and that they were still fairly well off. Either way, Daichi had always found such an austere and imposing structure a little incongruous with the warmth and gentleness of Suga and his family.

As he came closer, Daichi felt his heartbeat start to pick up. He wasn't sure how the conversation would go, though he knew at this point he could trust what Suga had taught him--in the moment he would know what to say and what to do. Daichi could see the figure of a woman bent over in the garden plot next to their house: Suga's mother. She straightened up as she felt the presence of someone approaching, and as she lifted the brim of her hat to see Daichi her tired face softened into a smile. It was definitely his mother's smile that Suga had inherited--the same wide grin and warm amber eyes that crinkled at the sides of her face.

" _Ohayou_ , Sawamura-kun, I didn't know you were coming over! Will you be joining us for lunch?"

" _Ohayougozaimasu_!" Daichi bowed to her respectfully. "Ah, thank you but actually I just came to return Koushi's notebook."

She chuckled, as she always did when Daichi insisted on being so formal to her. "He's inside, sweetheart. Go on ahead," she smiled as she pulled her hat down low and returned to her work.

Daichi shuffled up to the front door and walked into the entryway. " _Ojamashimasu_!" he called out. He inhaled deeply and the familiar scent of old _tatami_ filled his nostrils. Soon, a mop of ruffled silver hair peeked out from around the corner and Suga's younger brother, Kazunori, came down the hallway to greet him holding a gaming console in his hands. Daichi liked Kazunori. He was like a smaller, more serious version of Suga, though he took after his father more in terms of appearance. Both boys had their dad's distinctive ashen locks, but Koushi's caramel eyes and his delicate face were all his mother's.

"Hey Daichi, Koushi's in his room studying. _Aniki!_ Daichi's here!!!" he called out.

"Thanks, Kazu, how's junior high school?" Daichi asked.

The younger boy paused for a moment, giving the question some honest thought before answering, "It's not as hard as I thought. And the tennis club is fun, so I'm happy."

"That's good to hear, bud."

"Too bad you didn't make the right choice and pick volleyball!" Suga's voice rang out from behind his brother. Daichi glanced up and saw Suga advancing towards them, reaching out a hand to ruffle his brother's hair.

"Tennis!" Kazunori groaned, rolling his eyes at their never-ending squabble over whose sport was better. Not missing a beat, he ducked his head away from Suga's approaching hand and scuttled back down the hall. Daichi laughed at their antics. The truth was he had always wished he had had a brother or sister, so being around Suga's siblings made him feel like he could have a little taste of that life. Daichi knew he wanted to have a big family with lots of kids someday, and coming to the Sugawara's house was like having a practice run for when that day came.

"Hey," Suga greeted him, stifling a yawn.

"Hey," Daichi answered back. "You studying math?"

"...how'd you know?" Suga looked shocked.

"You've got chocolate in the corners of your mouth," Daichi smirked. Suga always bought a big bar of chocolate when he was cramming for math, rewarding himself with one square for every half hour he spent studying his least favorite subject.

Turning crimson all the way up to his ears, Suga brought a hand to his mouth and wiped away the chocolate smudges. "You finished with the notebook already? How was the study session?"

"Great," Daichi fibbed. Truth be told he and Yui had eventually strayed from studying to excitedly sharing stories from their teams and commiserating about the struggles of being captain. It had been a great chance to catch up, but they hadn't actually done much studying. He'd made another study date with her for the next week, promising he'd be more focused. "Sorry, would've dropped this off last night but I didn't want to interrupt," Daichi said as he handed back the notebook.

"Interrupt?" Suga cocked his head to the side quizzically. And in that split second Daichi's suspicions were officially confirmed. It had been a lie.

"Family time with your aunt." Daichi reminded him.

"Oh. Yeah, no worries! It's not like it was some grand family reunion. Besides, I wouldn't have been able to get to this until today anyway," Suga smiled. It was a flawless recovery, but Daichi could tell by the tension between them that rose in the silence that followed: Suga knew Daichi had caught him.

Suga shifted his weight nervously from his left foot to his right and avoided Daichi's gaze as he reached out a tentative hand to take the notebook back. As Suga wrapped his slender fingers around the edges of the notebook, Daichi kept his grip firm. Suga gave a start when the book didn't budge as he pulled it towards him. Surprised, he instinctively looked up and Daichi's eyes caught his own. Gotcha.

"Hey," Daichi began. "Is there something--"

" _Niiiiiii chaaaan_!" he was interrupted by the shrill cry of Suga's younger sister, Ayaka. When the scream ended, the sound of tiny footsteps padding down the hall grew closer. Suga took advantage of Daichi's distraction to snatch the notebook out of his grip and turn his gaze behind him towards his younger sister.

" _Nii ch_ \--" her voice dropped off when she caught sight of Daichi. Immediately Ayaka rushed to Suga's side and hid her face in his legs. Daichi took a step backward, feeling a bit guilty. Ayaka was an especially shy little girl and rarely spoke much to anyone apart from her family. Daichi knew it wasn't just him she was afraid of--she'd hid in her room and refused to come out the first time Asahi visited! Over time she'd slowly gotten used to Daichi and normally didn't mind him being around, but being surprised by his presence like this must have embarrassed her a bit.

"What's the matter, Aya?" Suga said, scooping her up in his arms and letting her bury her face in the crook of his shoulder. Watching Suga hold her like this, Daichi thought he looked almost like her father. Ayaka's hair was jet black like their mother's, but she had the same wild amber eyes as Suga. She peeked over at Daichi for a second and then smashed her face back into her big brother's shoulder, long strands of black hair spilling in all directions. "Come on now, you know Daichi's not scary. You can say hi." Ayaka raised her head, but didn't turn around. Instead, she cupped a hand around Suga's ear and whispered something to him. Suga looked so natural like this, stroking her hair and listening patiently. No wonder they all called him "mama crow."

"Ahhh, that's right." Suga nodded, hoisting Ayaka up a little further on his hip bone as she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. "Sorry, Daichi, I promised Ayaka that today we wou-- _mrrpfmmrrgh_!"

Before he could finish, Ayaka threw a tiny hand over his mouth. "No! Don't tell him, _nii chan_ , it's a secret!" Ayaka quickly admonished, squirming in his arms.

"Ayaka, that's not very nice," Suga chided, nudging his forehead against hers.

"It's okay, Suga," Daichi spoke up suddenly. He ran his hand nervously along the back of his neck as Suga turned to face him quizzically. After a moment or two of silence, Ayaka stirred in Suga's arms, breaking the trance the two had fallen into. Daichi took a deep breath and went on. "I mean...even best friends don't have to know everything, right?" Suga's mouth opened, but no words came out. Daichi looked back at him, smiling. Just like Suga had taught him, the words always came in the moment if he spoke the truth. "As long as you need to keep it a secret, Suga, I don't mind. Really. Just know that I'm always there for you two if you need help. Ayaka, you're secret's safe with nii chan," he chuckled, and Ayaka hid herself from his view once again, giggling. Daichi's eyes met Suga's and they shared a brief moment of silence. "But...if you ever decide it's ok to tell somebody I wanna be the first one, ok?"

Daichi watched as Suga's eyes turned an extra warm shade of amber. He could see tears welling up in them, but he was pretty certain they weren't tears of sadness. Maybe all Suga really did need was to know someone would be there when he was ready.

"Well, I should be going. I'll see you Monday, Suga. Good luck studying!" He said, turning for the door.

"Daichi!"

As Daichi turned the handle, Suga's hand caught his free wrist. He glanced back at Suga, still holding Ayaka in his free arm. "Thank you." And everything that remained to be said between them lived inside those two words. Daichi turned and walked out the door, bounding down the veranda. He sprinted the whole way home. As he stood catching his breath in the entryway of his own home, the image of Suga sitting in the grass replayed over and over in his mind. Closing the door behind him, Daichi leaned back against it for support. His chest felt tight and his heart was battering around in his ribcage. This was different than fatigue from running, he knew that much for sure. Why was he still so uneasy? So..angry? Panting at the door of his entryway, Daichi laughed at the irony of wishing Suga were here right now to help him sort out his emotions the way he usually did. Banishing the frustrations from his mind, he stood up straight again. Whatever was bothering Suga was most likely not dangerous and Suga clearly wasn't mad at him, so there was nothing more for him to do than respect Suga's wishes. Indulging these foreign emotions trying to flare up inside him would only distract him from doing what he needed to do--be a good friend to Suga. Suga was more important than whatever these impulses were. Just like when we was on the court, Daichi let those feelings and frustrations ebb away, focusing on the task in front of him. His best friend needed him, and he was going to be there for him no matter what.

Daichi resolved to preserve the boundary between the two of them until Suga decided he was ready to confide in him, but it didn't stop him from keeping a close eye on Suga. On those rare days when he managed to see the gentle setter pouting behind that ever-present smile or when he excused himself from walking home after practice or meeting after school, Daichi crept up to the changing rooms and sat by the window. Holding his fingers up to the glass, he would watch Suga combat whatever demons were fighting inside him. Daichi watched him, and silently offered his strength. He never once broke his promise to wait until Suga was ready, but that didn't stop him from coming to watch over Suga every single time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone. Let's hope 2017 is kind to us all. <3


	4. All I Know Is I Would Throw Them All Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karasuno's loss against Dateko causes Daichi to question what really matters most to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you're near me I have no fear  
> When I'm untrue you see right through me  
> You know me as deep as the sea goes  
> Calm my head whenever the storm blows  
> When the stars and the moon and the sky fall through,  
> I throw them all away  
> When I'm hollow, deep as the sea goes  
> All I know is I would throw them all away, away  
> \--Brandi Carlile

"Shit!" Another of Asahi's spikes had been blocked completely by the "iron wall" of Dateko's front line. Daichi did his best to dive and recover the ball, but he couldn't make it in time. Even Nishinoya, the team's reliable libero, couldn't save them all. Daichi hoisted himself off the ground, quick to shout encouragements to the team and pat players on the back and do everything he could to keep spirits up. He tried his best, but he was in a losing battle.

Karasuno had come to be known as the "flightless crows" among the other teams in Miyagi. Daichi's first and almost all of his second year on the team had been nothing but losses when it came to official matches or inter-high tournaments. Loss was nothing new to Karasuno, but Daichi had always kept hope alive that with enough hard work and dedication he could help Karasuno reach the skies again. And for a moment it all seemed possible. Karasuno had won its first match in the preliminaries, their first official victory against a powerful team since Daichi had joined. The hope was intoxicating, and the whole team swelled with excitement. But that buoyant hope only made the crash hurt more during their next match with Dateko. Having been given that small taste of victory no one was ready, willing, or able to settle for mediocrity again. And yet, for all their tenacity, there was no breaking through the iron wall looming before them.

"Don't mind, don't mind! We can still turn it around!" Daichi shouted encouragements and the team kept playing aggressively, but he could see them begin to crumble under their facades. What had begun as a spark of frustration in Asahi had been fanned into flames of anger with each successive block. Their reliable ace had barely managed to get a single spike through the blockers in Dateko's front line. Little by little his confidence was eroding and none of Daichi's words of support even seemed to register in his ears anymore. After that last block Daichi laid a hand on his shoulder, but Asahi didn't so much as move to acknowledge him.

The only thing scarier than Asahi right now was Suga. Karasuno's gentle setter kept a brave face plastered on, but Daichi could see something foreign looming in his hazel eyes: panic. For maybe the first time in his life, Suga was out of answers. Out of strategies.

Nishinoya hurled himself with admirable force toward a spike coming from the other side and recovered the ball for Karasuno. Suga positioned himself for the toss, but as he glanced at Asahi his mouth fell open. Daichi glanced over to his teammate and friend. Asahi stood motionless, head bowed in defeat. He refused to call for the ball. And Suga, poor Suga, he was at a loss. Daichi had to do something.

"Suga, right!" Daichi called! Heading for the net, he caught Sugawara's gaze for only a moment before Suga tossed the ball over to the right side. Daichi leapt with all his might, coming face to face with the "iron wall" of Dateko. Having heard his call for the spike, the three blockers wasted no time in moving to stop him. They were terrifying, looming overhead like an unbreakable fortress. Ready to crush any and everyone who came in their path. Daichi was face to face with defeat, yet he couldn't back down. There was no giving up until the final whistle blew. He had to try for the team. For his fellow third years. Daichi slammed the ball with every ounce of strength. He heard the slap of the leather as Dateko's middle blocker easily deflected the attack, sending it careening behind him. Before he could even land, the ball had fallen back into Karasuno's side of the court. He turned to find Nishinoya sprawled on the floor, slamming a fist into the ground as the ball rolled around next to him. It was over.

Of course no one else on the team had really expected to win the tournament. No one dared hope that far except Daichi. Even he had to acknowledge the slim chance of Karasuno's "unflying crows" rising so quickly to eminence. And yet, that first victory in the preliminaries had awakened a powerful thirst in all of them. A glimmer of hope that their efforts hadn't been in vain. For the first time Karasuno had believed in a chance for redemption. And now, just as quickly as it had appeared, the chance had been ripped from their grasp.

"Fall in!" As he led his team back to the edge of the court for the official line-up, Daichi recalled a conversation he'd had with Suga a few days earlier. He was staying over at Suga's house, the two of them sprawled on their stomachs on the floor in Suga's bedroom, Suga working on homework and Daichi poring over the roster for their upcoming tournament and sketches of some new plays he was thinking of trying out at practice afterwards. "We're gonna win this time," he blurted out after looking at the matchup for their first round.

"I thought we were doing math homework," Suga chided him half-heartedly, already sighing and closing his own textbook. He knew it was hopeless to try and get Daichi to do schoolwork when there were captain's duties to attend to. "So who's our first match against?"

"Sakuragaoka," Daichi handed over the roster to his vice-captain.

"Sakuragaoka?" Suga said, his mouth bunched up to one side like a puzzled five-year-old. "Don't think I've ever heard of them."

"Hasegawa-sensei used to work there before she got transferred here. Apparently it was an all-girl school until a few years ago, so they never had a men's team until this year."

Suga looked up from the paper, eyebrow raised. "And we're gonna give them a proper welcome to the world of competitive volleyball, huh? They might be really good, you know. Who can say since it's their first year in the tournaments?"

"Doesn't really matter, anyway. Whether they're a bunch of first-timers or Shiratorizawa, our goal is the same. We play every match to win, and so will they."

"You know, Daichi, even on our team you're the only one who actually believes we'll go to nationals every time we enter a tournament, right?"

"We'll never win if--

\--if we don't believe we can, I know. You're right. And I think you're right about us actually winning some matches this time," Suga added, balancing the tournament papers on top of Daichi's head like a floppy hat and turning back to his homework.

Laughing, Daichi pulled the packet off his head and and tossed a crumpled chocolate bar wrapper at Suga. "You say that like it's a bad thing. Isn't it exciting to think that we'll finally win some matches? Get to fight on the court with some big names? Are you scared or something?" When Suga looked back up at him, Daichi immediately regretted his words. There in Suga's eyes, plain as day, was indeed a streak of fear.

"You know, not everyone is as strong as you. Hope is a little bit like a double-edged sword, don't you think? Sure, it can propel you forward, but it hurts to come down from that kind of rush. The higher you climb, the more it hurts when you fall, Daichi." There was something unmistakably sad in the way Suga said those words. What exactly did he mean by that? Daichi stared back at Suga with a quizzical expression, trying to piece his friend's ever-cryptic words into something coherent he could latch onto. His instincts told him Suga was trying to say something really important, something he was afraid of saying outright. Catching Daichi's concerned look, Suga quickly tried to cover his tracks.

"Sorry, I'm excited too I swear! I just...worry about what happens after we win. When nobody expects anything of you, it's kind of easier to deal with disappointment. But when we start facing really strong teams those losses are gonna hit harder, and I think maybe it's easy to start putting a lot of that pressure on yourself. To start blaming yourself rather than fate."

Seeing that flash of doubt in his friend's eyes, Daichi was dumbfounded. "Suga, do you--"

"But that's not something we have to worry about, because we're going all the way to the top, right?" In an instant, Suga's bright smile was back in place and all traces of doubt from earlier had disappeared. "Anyway, it's time for a break! How about a movie?"

"I...sure." He hardly had time to answer before Suga leapt up and ran to grab one of the movies Daichi had brought over and started opening up the case. Daichi wanted to go further, to ask Suga more about what he'd said. But he knew better than to try and navigate the labyrinth that was Sugawara Koushi's mind.

Looking back on that moment now, Daichi could see so clearly what Suga had been trying to tell him. What he had tried to warn Daichi about. How did he always see these things before anyone else? How could Daichi have missed it?

Daichi reached his place in line next to Suga and glanced sideways. Suga's eyes were trained on Asahi, who slowly made his way to the lineup with clenched fists. As he drew near them Daichi watched Suga's gaze fall downward and his breath hitch. Instinctively he reached out and grabbed for Suga's hand. Suga looked up again and Daichi gave his hand a squeeze, communicating everything without words. They were never needed with Suga anyway.

The team rode back to Karasuno in silence, and ran through drills just like they would on any other day. The motions were the same, but the entire team was on edge. There was an uneasy thickness to the air, punctuated only by the sound of balls and sneakers pounding the floor. At last the pressure boiled over during cleanup, as Daichi was folding up the net with Suga, a loud crash from inside the equipment room shot out like a missile and ricocheted off the walls of the gym. Darting his head around behind him, Daichi saw the broom fall to the ground as Noya and Asahi moved in on one another, the tension palpable. He glanced back at Suga, who was clutching the folded up net in his hands. Daichi recognized that face. It was the same one he caught Suga making every time he spied on him from the second story window. This, however, was the first time Suga had knowingly shown it to Daichi. It was the first time he really saw Suga at his rawest and most vulnerable--without a plan for what happened next.

"Su--"

Before Daichi could finish or reach out a hand to comfort his friend, Suga dashed off towards the equipment room to watch the argument between Noya and Asahi unfold. Daichi followed behind, concerned for his teammates but more than anything worried about Suga. He had never witnessed Suga in this state, and even though he had no idea what it meant, his instincts told him this was bad. Really bad.

"No matter how much you followed the block, if I can't spike and score it's all for nothing!" They reached the closet in time to see Asahi lash out at Nishinoya with uncharacteristic aggression.

"ASAHI!" Daichi screamed out to prevent him from saying more. He glanced left at Suga, who was still shaking. His arms were wrapped around his own waist, hands clutching at the fabric of his practice jersey. Daichi's eyes roamed back and forth between Nishinoya and Suga. He could see that Asahi's words had already burned Noya and his face was ablaze with anger. If someone didn't stop him, there's no telling what kind of damage might be done. And yet, as he glanced over at Suga trembling like a child, Daichi saw the carefully crafted facade threaten to come crumbing down entirely. Both the team's libero and setter were about to reach their breaking point and Daichi had to stop at least one of them.

His hand reached out to grab Suga's. There was never a question in his mind of who he would choose. There was no doubt Asahi was the team's ace, but Suga was the anchor. When it all came down to it, the team needed him more. Or, at least, Daichi needed him more.

The two stood planted firmly at the doorway, reluctant spectators as the argument escalated. Daichi felt Suga's hand grip his tighter and tighter with each barbed word spat between the ace and libero. The moment Nishinoya leaped out at Asahi and Tanaka lunged forward to restrain him, Daichi felt Suga turn his gaze away. Daichi's other arm reached out to steady him and he felt Suga place both hands on his shoulder and lay his head down onto them, eyes clenched shut. He knew what was coming; they both did.

The loud snap of the broken broomstick shot through his ears like a bullet. At the sound, Suga inhaled sharply and Daichi steadied him as he threw more of his weight onto the captain's shoulder. The rest of the world went mute save for the echoes of the broken broomstick pounding inside his head. He could sense the figure of Asahi exit out the doors of the gymnasium, followed tentatively by some of their teammates, but his eyes refused to leave the fractured broomstick lying amid splinters on the floor of the darkened equipment, spotlit by the garish lights streaming in through the open door to the gymnasium.

Holding Koushi in his grip, Daichi watched as the team he had worked so hard to unite came crumbling apart before his eyes.

In that moment, he thought back to where they were almost a year ago when the first years had stopped coming to club. He thought back to the utter dread he felt at the thought of giving up volleyball. And now in this moment he was ready to throw it all away. All that mattered was that he stay strong for Suga, who needed him most of all. How could one year change him so drastically? How could one friendship mean so much? It was an odd thought to be having, especially at a time like this, and Daichi banished it to the recesses of his mind as he held on to Suga for dear life. Perhaps he was failing as a captain--letting down the team. But if this was a mistake, it was one he'd make again in a heartbeat. What he felt down to his bones in this moment was that Suga needed him. It felt like the first time he could truly give back to the friend who had always given so freely of himself to the team and especially to Daichi. He knew in this moment where he was most needed, where he most wanted to be.

The sound of the main gymnasium doors slamming shut jolted him back to reality, and he glanced over his shoulder to see the rest of the team staring back at him, dumbfounded. Tanaka came bounding back through the doors from outside; Nishinoya was not with him. Perhaps there was no avoiding this outcome, but the fact of the matter was, he hadn't even tried. Faced with the shocking aftermath of the confrontation, Daichi realized he had indeed just sacrificed two teammates for the sake of one. And now he would have to take responsibility. This was what being a captain meant. Steeling himself, Daichi turned to face his dejected teammates head on. He would look each of them in the eye and tell them the truth:

"This was my--

\--my fault," Suga interrupted, drowning him out. Daichi felt a hand grab his shoulder and squeeze as Suga stepped in front of him, standing up straight for the first time since before their match that afternoon. "I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't find a way to outsmart them or outmaneuver them. All I could do was send Asahi to face them over and over again, hoping he'd find a way himself. Our loss today, this fight, everything...it's my fault."

The underclassmen echoed Daichi's thoughts, shouting: "How can you say such a thing, Suga-senpai?" "We would never think that!" "Without you we would have been even worse off!"

"Suga, if you say that again I swear I'll sock you in the face," Daichi spoke up, voice breaking through the din. Shocked, the whole team went silent and everyone looked over at him. "We are all responsible. We play as a team, win as a team, and lose as a team. If one of us falls, we all do." He glanced at Suga for a moment before facing the underclassmen again, making sure Suga understood the next few sentences were really directed at him:

"It's not fair for us to ask one person to share all the burden. As a team we have to work harder to make sure we can always let our strongest members rely on us, not the other way around." The other team members likely assumed he was speaking about Asahi, but he knew Suga could hear the "I'm sorry" sewn into the seams of words meant for him. And he knew, without ever asking out loud, the answer to the "forgive me?" etched into his gaze.

In that moment, Suga smiled at him. And then, he turned to face the underclassmen.

"I'm glad you all feel the same way. Today was a tough loss, and you can see the damage it causes if you take responsibility for everything yourself. But we're stronger as a team than we are as individuals. Together we can move on. When you come up against a wall that you can't break through, all that is left to do is go home. Go home to treat your wounds. And sharpen your weapons. This was our last match before new members join. We'll be adding new weapons to our arsenal. And we each have skills of our own to hone. We can stand crying in front of the wall, or we can go home and prepare to fight again. So go home, everyone. Rest. And join me on Monday to sharpen our weapons."

Daichi stood in awe of his vice-captain. In his darkest moment, Suga had risen above his pain and delivered the perfect speech to revive the team's spirits. Daichi watched the smiles spread across the first years' faces, watched the spark return to their eyes. With a loud rallying cry Tanaka jumped in the air and led the charge as the team finished cleaning up with renewed vigor. Daichi grinned to himself as he walked to lock up the equipment room. But as he reached to turn out the lights, something caught his eye: half of the broken broom was missing. Walking in, he picked up the other one and clutched it to his chest.

Suga...

Walking up the stairs to the changing rooms, Daichi gripped his half of the broomstick in his hands. He could hear the rowdy chatter of his underclassmen as they jostled and teased one another while packing up. Slowly gathering his things, he bid farewell to his teammates, who were filing out of the changing room whooping and hollering about nikkuman into the crisp night air.

"Keep it down Tanaka! It's already late," Daichi admonished. His eyes scanned the room. Suga's bag was missing, but Daichi knew he hadn't gone home. There was an eerie stillness hanging heavily in the air. Daichi carefully crept over to the window, glancing down to spot Suga's figure sitting in the grass, clutching the broken broom stick in his hands.

The team was back to normal, at least for now. Suga's speech had saved them all, but at what expense? What kind of toll had this taken on Suga? Who would be there to comfort him? Daichi knew in this moment he should be most worried about Asahi, but all he could think of was that he had once again failed to protect Suga.

Leaning his back against the wall and sliding down to the floor of the clubroom, Daichi ached for something he couldn't quite articulate. Turning the broom handle anxiously in his hands, he looked up to the ceiling of the clubroom, as if the answers would be written there magically. Back against a wall and clutching one half of a broken broom in hand, each boy mourned. Mourned the loss of a dream, a teammate, a friend. And for Daichi, the walls both real and invisible that stood between him and Suga. Words unspoken, tears unshed, stories unheard and forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day, everyone <3 <3 <3
> 
> As a special lovey-dovey Valentine's gift, I present you a chapter where our heroes go through a bunch of horrible, awful, sad things. Oops. Bad timing on my part guys, sorry. ><
> 
> Sorry this newest chapter has taken so long to come out. I actually finished it ages ago but I kind of put this whole fic on hold recently after my home country went and did a thing. I may not live in America anymore, but I'll always consider myself American--so watching everything that happens has been pretty tough for me. I'm gonna try to get back on the wagon here, so hopefully the next update will come sooner!


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